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11 January 2012 @ 02:07 am
First post of 2012, done in my usual style (ie it's 1:21 in the morning and am I sleeping? Nope). Went to a convention this past weekend, met back up with some old friends, made a new friend (well, gaming acquaintance, really), and re-kindled the desire to get back into fighting games outside of Guilty Gear, although, I'm pretty rubbish at them in general. Not gonna lie, though, the convention was damn boring. Hopefully next year will be better. Until then, back to grinding away at the Metrocon grindstone.

Speaking of sewing, that encompasses my New Year's resolution: don't buy anything I can make. It'll force my sewing skills to improve, and cut down on my spending (which happens to be the sub-resolution). On that note, my first personal project of the year will be to make a bra. Now, I still intend to buy bras, as, after doing the math, the sort of bras I like aren't economical for me to make, not to mention the skill level is a bit high. However, I do want to try it, making them. When I get up the money, I'll get the supplies. In the meantime, I shall finish my Calintz cosplay, as it's closest to completion. Then Gloria.

On the job front, I'm still underpaid and unhappy, but what can you do? This dead end town seems to have little use for my skill sets and is still reeling from the job slump of 2009-2011. There's supposed to be a Forever 21 opening out in Pier Park, and I intend to apply there to try and get a full time position. It doesn't look like I'll be able to escape the thirty mile commute, so I'll just have to work hard enough to earn enough to balance out the gas. No lie, I'd be willing to drive farther if the pay is good enough. For $15 an hour, I'd probably be willing to drive to Destin. Well, and a really good job atmosphere. I'd have to really love my job. That's neither here nor there, though. Point being I need to make a change on the job front, as I'm losing money going to work these days, what with gas. If I can't get in at Forever21, I'm not really sure what I'll do. Try Old Navy. Again. For the fourth time.

On a different front entirely, I am still lamenting my lack of male interaction in my social life. Before anyone says anything, what I mean is a bit complicated, then again, any time I talk about my ideal love life and friendships with the other gender, I never do follow the norm. I do sort of want a boyfriend, but not in the traditional sense. I don't care about the love thing or any of that bullshit. Just kind of... want a guy friend that's got my back. Strangely simple, really. I can't explain why I have the desire or anything like that. I just know it's there. Perhaps I'm lonely? I'm not a psychologist, so I'm not going to attempt to answer the enigmatic "why."

This probably explains why I feel awkward around guys I do feel a connection with. I know not how to handle it, outside of trying to not seem like a creeper.

In a similar vein, but different note, one thing that does distress me: I'm feeling more detached from my friends and less willing to talk to them genuinely. Usually, it seems, I have what I really want to say in my head, but then something entirely different and "non-rock-the-boat" like comes out, and isn't at all what I want to say. As such, inversely, I feel less inclined to speak to them about whatever is on my mind. Then again, I've rarely gotten very helpful feedback, and few times had my problems thrown back in my face. Well, I suppose this is what this journal's been for all along. 

Circling back on a less serious note: not gonna lie, the dude me n' Hal played KOF with was pretty hot, not to mention I have an extreme soft spot for a guy who looks extremely good in drag. Something about him made a red flag go up in my mind, though (damn women's intuition). Keeping that guy filed under "gaming pal" in my brain, for now.

Now that guy from Metrocon. That's a different story entirely.